House Of Wolves ~ View topic

Corpse Joined: 27 May 2007 Posts: 83 Location: HELL

The girls past has a lot of my past in it. I choose to add somethings, but a lot that is written in her is about me. So..I'm basically exposing myself big time on this and I'd appreciate no opinions on this whether its real or I'm making it up coz most of it is real and it DID happen.

12 am was what the clock read and there I was on the bathroom floor looking at the cuts I had made on my arm. They burned and stung...but it all felt beautiful. Tears streamed down my face. I hated myself...I hated everything. People seemed so cruel...everything had changed. Nothing was the same. I had grown up...I had grown up to be molded the perfect daughter and now that I was breaking that...people saw me different. They saw me as a mistake, useless, unwanted. I was the problem of everything. I was the daughter who never did anything for anyone, the daughter who never loved anyone, the daughter who never cared, the daughter who was nothing, who only snuck out to party and drink every night and would some home and go to school hungover. This was me...I hated it. What people said about me...I felt as if I was a mistake. I just sat there thinking and thinking while the cuts still stung from the razor blade. I saw the blood it ran down along my arm...it was a deep dark red color. I could feel the tears coming up again. I wiped my face smearing the make up some more. I felt tired, drunk. wasted...not well. I decided to stand up. My legs were weak...I could barely hold myself up. I felt dizzy and my head was hurting...I felt as if it was going to explode. The light hurt my eyes. I could barely open them...finally I was able to. I saw the horrid person in the mirror. Make up smeared, bloodshot red eyes, sweaty, hair messed up...what was I? What had I become? Was this really me? Was I really a person who was wasting herself away. I felt my stomach hurt soon enough I lifted the toilet seat and there went everything that I had consumed that night right back out the way it came in. I flushed the toilet and slowly crawled to the sink. I cupped some water in my hand and put it in my mouth. I rinsed and spit the water. I stood up and went towards the shower. Once inside the glass doors I stripped and threw the clothing out of the shower. I pulled the silver knob and out came the cold water. I couldn't feel the cold water I was numb. I no longer had any feelings according to others. I let the ice cold water go down my body and through my hair. I looked around for shampoo. I grabbed the bottler and knocked it down. I was weak and tired. I bent down and picked it up. I poured a good amount in my hand and began to lather my hair. I slowly rinsed it out. I grabbed the wash cloth and poured soap into its. I slowly lathered the soap into my body. I soon rinsed and washed my face away of the remanding make up. I soon step out of the shower and grab the nearest towel. I open the door and step into my room where right across my bed is my sister sleeping peacefully. I go towards my bed and soon enough everything goes black...another typical night.

Corpse Joined: 27 May 2007 Posts: 83 Location: HELL

The First time

I awoke and it was dark. Only the moon light was in the room. There was screaming and yelling on the other side of the wooden door. I laid in my bed for awhile...but soon enough the curiosity wouldn't leave me alone and I needed to see why they were yelling and screaming. I sat up and pulled the covers off exposing my small feet. They were covered in white socks. I got down from the bed and fixed the Barbie night gown that my mom had bought me earlier that day when we had gone to the store.I slowly tip toed to the door even though I was sure that they wouldn't be able to hear me from all the arguing. I put my small hand on the door knob and opened it a bit. There they were fighting and yelling. The expression on my fathers face seem to say that he wanted to knock my mother out. Even though she was a lot shorter than him, she wasn't afraid to stand up to him. Suddenly my father turn towards the door. He soon opened the door. I look down to the ground. I feel as if I'm in trouble. He lifts my chin and says:

" Sweetie get your toys."

I nodded and hurried to the closet where my toys were. I picked two Barbie's, Princess Jasmine, a stuffed animal, a hair brush and a couple of other things. I had them all in my arms and pulled the end of my nighty gown up and dumped them there. Soon my dad picked me up and brought me to the bathroom that was across the room. He sat me down on the toilet and went on his knees and looked at me and said:

" Stay here. Do not come out in till I say so. Got that?"

I nodded at him. Soon enough he stood up and closed the door behind him. I dumped all my toys on the floor and began to play. I went over to the sink and filled it up with water. I stripped all my dolls and pretended that they were mermaid in the ocean. It seemed like I was there for years. Finally the yelling and the banging stopped. I sat there and thought that I couldn't because Daddy said not to come out in till he said so. The curiosity took over me and so I went to the door and opened it. I stepped out to see the entire hallway trashed, the kitchen with broken glass, the room that my parents and I share trashed, the sheets all over the place bed turned, then the living room. I saw the stereo we had on the floor all broken in pieces, the couch was turned over, the window was even broken and there laid my mother. Her hair was in her face and she was crying. I rushed towards her, but I said nothing. I didn't know what to say or what to do. She just looked up at me.

" Daddy...he's gone." she whispered

I suddenly awoke. My body was all sweaty and I was shivering. It killed to remember that night when I was four. It was the first time that I remembered that they fought like that. If only Daddy did leave so it could save me the misery that came along after...if only.